Olde Salty Conversation

Annoy: -5

Stop making that clicking noise! Is that you? I know it's you. Stop it! Stop it. Arrrg!

Apologize: 2

You don't have to apologize, my friend. You just have to promise to do my bidding when the time comes.

Brag: 2

Well you're a stronger person that I thought! Most people who drink that much saltwater start hallucinating!

Call Name: 2

Ah ha ha! Back in the old days we all had two or three nick-names! How good of you to remind me!

Cheer Up: 0

Pardon my saying so, but you're too young to know what's good and what's bad in this despicable world.

Complain: -2

In all my long years I have never seen someone as pathetic as you! You'd even run from a shark on dry land!

Compliment: 3

Thank you, matey! I try to keep it nice and trimmed so the rats on my ship can't get a foothold.

Cry: -1

You poor fool! Nobody cries on my watch. At sea you can't afford to lose water.

Entertain: 2

Good golly, Jolly Roger! How do you get the yo-yo to stay down for so long? Is it magic?

Give Opinion: -2

Oh what do you know about anything! I'm old enough, wise enough, and crazy enough to know you're wrong.

Gossip: 2

Arrr! That Dusty Hogg, he likes to talk tough... but I know for a fact that he wears a girdle!

Insult: -6

The sun may have baked my brains but it seems to have turned you into a roasted tomato!

Intimidate: -6

You don't frighten me! In all my ragged years, nothing but the deadly white whale of old has been able to shake me out of my boots!

Jibba Jabba: 3

Arrr. That's an odd way of putting things, [Player]. Colorful, but odd.

Joke: 2

Ha ha! Yes, because dolphins are smarter than most sailors! I get it!

Rude Gesture: 1

I had no idea you knew our secret sailor sign. Welcome to the club.

Talk about Aliens: -4

Arrr! I'm thinking it's a bunch of aliens that grabbed my poor old brother, Pepper Pete!

Talk about Art: -2

Arrr! What passes for art these days is just a bunch of silly colors barfed on to a canvas!

Talk about Books: -1

What good are books if you can't read them on the open ocean or in the bath without them falling apart?

Talk about Cars: -2

The day cars were invented was the day the human race lost its reason to live! Back to the oceans, I say!

Talk about Computers: -1

Compoowhat? Is that like those one of those Bead things you use to count other things?

Talk sabout Construction: -2

Ever since Daddy B rolled into town he's been offering people some pretty cozy sums of money for their property... hmmm.

Talk about Cooking: 2

As you can imagine, I'm a big fan of squid burgers. But a fluffy lemon meringue pie, with 2 scoops of sugar for every lemon, will make me smile just as wide.

Talk about Crime: -2

I don't stand for crime on my ship. If I catch anyone stealing anything I sit them down and make them eat it!

Talk about Dancing: -1

Kid, you try to start dancing on my ship and I'll throw you overboard. I don't take no truck with frivolities.

Talk about Exercise: -2

You city folks and your ridiculous track suits! You've lost touch with honest, back-breaking work!

Talk about Games: 1

The preferred game at sea is naughts-and-crosses... what is it you young ones call it? Tic-Tac-Toe?

Talk about Graveyards: 2

It's a beautiful old plot, to be sure, but I'm a sailor, [Player]. It's a watery grave I'll be in. My place is with the fishes.

Talk about Health: 2

I sail about the watery part of the world to drive off my spleen and regulate my circulation.

Talk about Hobbies: 3

I whittle chunks of driftwood and weave baskets out of kelp. Most of the hobbies I have, the ocean provides.

Talk about Home: 1

I live in the Riverboat's top cabin. It's a modest place. A mere closet. But it's mine, yes it is.

Talk about Home Decor: -1

I was long in the habit of catching marlins and hanging them on my walls. But those days are gone, as are my trophies.

Talk about Hygiene: 0

I haven't brushed my teeth in 30 years, yet my teeth are as strong as ever! Okay, so my breath is a killer.

Talk about Jail: 1

At sea, when a man breaks the rules, if we don't have a jail to throw him in we just toss him overboard.

Talk about Jobs: -2

Try your hand at the Moogoo Monkey card game my friend. It's hotter than a wool sweater in August.

Talk about Miniopolis: -3

Egad! That concrete jungle is too crowded, too lifeless. I stay there too long and I start screaming.

Talk about Movies: -3

Arrr! I'm sick of films that paint us sailors as a bunch of crazy, growling seadogs!

Talk about Music: 2

I like shanties best of all. What is that song? "Sailor, Your Home Is The Sea." It brings a salty tear to my weak eyes.

Talk about Nature: 3

Ain't nothing more natural than an angry, boiling sea. If you ain't careful it will SWALLOW YOU! And I love it for that.

Talk about Ninjas: -1

Sounds like a ridiculous rumor to me! A rumor on par with flying-machines and fat-free mayonnaise.

Talk about Politics: -1

If land-loving politicians followed my lead they might get something done. At sea you either follow me or you're shark food.

Talk about Rep Groups: -1

What on dry land are you talking about? Do you mean guilds? You're confusing me.

Talk about Science: 1

It's good that scientists have decided the world is round. Otherwise a lot of sailors would have lost their boats over the edge of the earth.

Talk about Shopping: -1

Why do people like buying things rather than building them? I built everything I own, including my refrigerator.

Talk about Simoleons: 2

Perhaps when you are older and wiser you'll hop aboard a ship and earn your keep the hard way.

Talk about Sleeping: 2

I live on my boat, yes. Without the room constantly bobbing and weaving I can't sleep a wink.

Talk about Sports: 2

There was a game my crew liked to play called Count the Dolphins. It saved them from madness.

Talk about TV: -2

The one time I saw a television, it tried to tell me I was too ugly and too fat! So I threw it into the ocean!

Talk about Theatre: -2

The last time I was up in that dark den, someone grabbed me, shoved me on stage, and started calling me Ahab!

Talk about Travel: 3

I've sailed the 7 seas, marched across the 7 continents, and climbed 5 of the world's tallest mountains.

Talk about Work: 2

When I was your age I had to work 27 hours a day shoveling water out of a lake, then pay my boss for the hours. And I loved it!

Talk about the Bayou: 2

I find the bayou a spiritual place, but I've lost many small boats in its boggy marshes.

Talk about the Carnival: 3

I hope old Iron Gut Gary is still working there. He bites the heads off fishes.

Talk about the Coffee Shop: -2

I like coffee, but not in little paper cups and served with stale cookies! What stupid things you land lubbers invented!

Talk about the Cosmos: 2

I navigate by the stars which is good on the ocean, but on land I tend to run in to a lot of buildings.

Talk about the Law: 2

I follow no man made laws, my young friend. The laws of nature are my only guide, and they are fierce!

Talk about the Lounge: 2

Aye, the Casino is mine. Why be a pirate on the sea when I can be one right here?

Talk about the Market: -2

You might ask those boys there why they refuse to sell the sea cucumbers I harvest in my spare time.

Talk about the Museum: -2

I tried to donate my knife to the museum. "This blade has slain 1,000 gators!" I screamed. But the fools slammed the door and called the police.

Talk about the Newspaper: -1

The only good use I found for the local newspaper was lining my dead parrot's cage.

Talk about the River: 3

I miss the days of the old Riverboats, chugging up the slow river. You couldn't water ski behind them, but it was fun just being on one.

Talk about the Supernatural: 2

I've seen things out there, [Player]. Ghost ships, sea monsters, and UFOs. Believe it, kid. Believe it.

Talk about the University: -2

You think you're better than me? Well let me tell you, I'm schooled in the university of LIFE!

Talk about the Weather: 2

Watch the birds! Watch the squirrels! They'll tell you what sort of weather's a'coming! And they're so cute too.

Talk about the World: 4

The world is big and strange and round and wet and old and bumpy and complicated and dirty and... so many things.

Tease: -4

Can it, kid! I make these funny noises to remind me of my poor, dead parrot. You'll never understand.

Tell a Bad Pun: 3

Arrr! That's a cracking good one, kid! You've got a sailors mouth, you have!

Tell a Secret: 2

I'll keep your secret safe my child so long as I am docked here. But on the open ocean all kept secrets become my best stories.

Gift (Accept)

Thank you, kind soul! You know just how to warm a sailor's heart.

Gift (Reject)

I've no use for the likes of that garbage.

Errand (Accept)

Pardon my askin', but could you deliver this rusty cannonball to [Sim]? 'Tis an old sailor joke, see?

Errand (Reject)

I have no need of your services now, young master.

Move In (Reject)

No thank you, young master, for I've a room of my own already.

Silent Treatment

Arrr! I've got nothing to say to your foul face!