Berkeley Clodd Conversation

Annoy: 0

Go away. You're attracting too much attention to yourself. And to me.

Apologize: -2

Be true to yourself, my friend, and then you will realize what a fool you are.

Brag: -3

If you're so good at what you do, why don't you have nicer clothes than me?

Call Name: -3

In the art of name calling you are an absolute amateur, you slush for brains.

Cheer Up: 3

You're absolutely right, people ARE much more gullible than I give them credit for.

Complain: -2

If I complained as much as you I'd never be the... NEARLY successful man I am.

Compliment: 2

You know, on dry days I can pull my hair so far back that all my wrinkles disappear.

Cry: -1

Oh dear. What is that moisture there? That water collecting around your eyes?

Entertain: 1

That is a fascinating trick, [Player]. If you ever need an agent, let me know.

Flirt: 3

Naturally you find me desirable. It's one of the mysteries of talking to me.

Give Opinion: -1

An opinion is a theory you are not brave enough to test yourself.

Gossip: 2

Is that true, or do you think Detective Mann is just playing dumb?

Insult: -3

A what? Did you just call me a fishmonger? What is a fishmonger?

Intimidate: -2

I'd suggest working on your sneer before you try to scare anyone else.

Jibba Jabba: 3

Splendid! You really know how to spin poetry from gibberish.

Joke: 4

Bravo, [Player]. Bravo! That is the funniest thing I have heard in the last 5 minutes.

Rude Gesture: -8

You amateur! I could show you some gestures that would get you thrown in jail!

Talk about Aliens: 1

Do they need a manager? I think they're starting a band.

Talk about Art: 3

Why I don't paint anymore? Because I don't want to devalue the Mona Lisa.

Talk about Books: 2

Have you read my book, "How To Sell Ice To Penguins"?

Talk about Cars: -3

I used to own a car called the Berkeleymobile, until good taste forced me to sell it.

Talk about Computers: 2

What kind do you need? A blue computer? A red one? A green one? Just name it!

Talk about Construction: 0

I've seen warts prettier than some of the modern buildings in this city.

Talk about Cooking: 1

I won't bother with the rest of the universe until I find a way to live up there.

Talk about Crime: 1

I don't consider myself a criminal. I'm "Judicially Misunderstood."

Talk about Dancing: 0

I don't dance, no. But I do have a very sophisticated walk.

Talk about Exercise: 2

I know I'm fit and beautiful, but I don't exercise. Don't hate me.

Talk about Games: 3

I am a self-taught master of games, sleights, and deceptions of all kinds.

Talk about Graveyards: 2

I already reserved my plot in the graveyard. A riverside view. Lovely.

Talk about Health: 2

I don't have a degree, but I've read plenty of books. What's troubling you?

Talk about Hobbies: 2

I dabble in magic, illusions, deceptions, and scams, and I'm available for children's parties.

Talk about Home: -3

If only I had a permanent home, I might find my heart.

Talk about Home Decor: 1

Three card monte! Have you heard of it? We should play some time, buddy.

Talk about Hygiene: 0

I prefer slapping on a handful of cologne to taking a bath.

Talk about Jail: 1

They feed inmates peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches without the peanut-butter or jelly.

Talk about Jobs: -2

The trick to Moogoo Monkey is this: Spread your bets around.

Talk about Miniopolis: 3

Miniopolis is bursting with wealth, ideas, and very gullible people.

Talk about Movies: -2

A company hired me to write a scam-artist script, but fired me after they found out I wasn't a writer.

Talk about Music: 2

Nothing compares with the sound of a four-string quartet playing heavy metal.

Talk about Nature: -2

Mother Nature bores me, frankly. You can't play any good tricks on her.

Talk about Ninjas: -1

Say that again. A ninja? I have no idea what you're talking about.

Talk about Politics: 2

If you want to succeed in politics, dress like me and write big checks.

Talk about Rep Groups: -3

I couldn't care less about those haughty cliques. Why? Did they say anything about me?

Talk about Science: 2

Bless science for all the wonderful tricks it allows me to play on people.

Talk about Shopping: 2

Everything I buy is imported. That way it's difficult to track me down when my checks bounce.

Talk about Simoleons: 2

The best part about making Simoleons is not spending them. It's hiding them.

Talk about Sleeping: 1

I sleep standing up, with my eyes open. A good trick to know when you're on the run.

Talk about Sports: -2

Haven't we evolved beyond watching violent spectacles like football, boxing, and shuffleboard?

Talk about TV: -3

I can't sit still for long enough to watch television. I'm always moving around.

Talk about Theatre: -2

Why would I pay to have people lie to me when I get people to pay ME to lie to them?!

Talk about Travel: 2

Talk to me later and I'll set you up with a ticket to Jupiter.

Talk about Work: 2

I help people get rid of all the extra money weighing them down.

Talk about the Bayou: 2

I could sell you some property there if you like. Real cheap, real cozy.

Talk about the Carnival: 1

I got my start working for the carnival. Does it show?

Talk about the Coffee Shop: -2

There hasn't been a decent cup of coffee made in this town since 1761!

Talk about the Cosmos: -3

My mother used to make a strudel with apples, nuts, and sugar, but it always made me drowsy.

Talk about the Law: 2

Have you ever heard the term 'loophole'?

Talk about the Lounge: 2

Let's just say I like doing my LAUNDRY at that Casino. Wink!

Talk about the Market: -3

They don't know how to banter! They wouldn't take my flattery in exchange for food!

Talk about the Museum: 2

Ludivico is my favorite painter. I love how he uses the color blue.

Talk about the Newspaper: 2

I should get a paper route, then hire some hapless child to run it while I take half the cut.

Talk about the River: 0

I don't have opinions about things I don't consider important.

Talk about the Supernatural: 0

If talking about that twaddle helps me influence people, of course I'll believe in it!

Talk about the University: -1

University kids don't know the first thing about being successful. Rule one: Wear a swank hat.

Talk about the Weather: 1

Ever since I broke my wrist I've been able to use it to predict the weather.

Talk about the World: 0

I've been to nearly every country in this crazy world. And kicked out of every one.

Tease: -2

You worthless imp. You're just jealous of my extreme sophistication and intelligence.

Tell a Bad Pun: 2

My, my. I didn't realize you were such a crass dolt. Well done.

Tell a Secret: 0

Your confidence in me is bizarre, [Player]. Do you really think I'll keep this secret?

Hug

Keep your paws to yourself, you grimy grub.

Kiss

I wouldn't kiss that mouth if it was made of chocolate.

Gift (Accept)

Hey, thanks! This will come in handy one day.

Gift (Reject)

Thanks but no. I've already got 7 or 8 of those.

Errand (Accept)

Why yes, funny you should ask. Could you deliver this Snake Oil to [Sim]?

Errand (Reject)

No, nothing comes to mind.

Move In (Reject)

Thanks, but no thanks. I've got a nifty little place I just can't give up.

Silent Treatment

I have nothing to say to you, [Player].